I’ll start off by saying that I have never been caught masturbating. That being said, I figured that it was time.
I thought about how funny it would be to get caught giving yourself some relief, so at about 12am I left my window wide the fuck open, All my lights on so as to attract some worthless thieves looking for an easy B&E.
I then sat towards the window with my pants down stroking my wonder zone just waiting, and yes, at times it was like playin’ pool with a rope, but it was a pretty good jerk if do say so myself. When I needed a break, I would sit spread eagle towards the window, which felt pretty good with the cold air blowing on my balls.
At about 4:50 am it happened. Though I did not see him because he was probably a sneaky Mexican, I did hear him run away and knock some shit over in the process.
My life is now complete, I don’t know if there is anything funnier than that, but I’m going to try to find out.
I’m not lying, you can’t make this shit up.
This was originally written on Oct 12, 2007
Rewritten and edited on Jan 18, 2008
Tags: Funny story, Humor, Jerking off, Masturbation, Thieves
