The love of my life

Nancy Regan is my love slave.

She has enlightened my world sexually with a secret sexual move that they teach to the first ladies. They are the only ones who know how to do it, And She does it for me every night.

She gives me tongue twists, twirls and nibbles on my cock. She Sat on my face and I ate her. She is my beautiful saggy tit cum disposal. I give so much seed she could fertilize Guam with one giant queef.

She bakes me cookies with her Teflon bake-ware and they taste good except for the pieces of Teflon I shit out, that sucks. She likes to watch Eddie Murphy raw, she laughs, giggles and says ohhh goodness when he says any variation of the N-word and then proceeds to tell me that she is not a racist and that racism is bad.

How I love her so

A blind act of courage

I’ll start off by saying that I have never been caught masturbating. That being said, I figured that it was time.

I thought about how funny it would be to get caught giving yourself some relief, so at about 12am I left my window wide the fuck open, All my lights on so as to attract some worthless thieves looking for an easy B&E.

I then sat towards the window with my pants down stroking my wonder zone just waiting, and yes, at times it was like playin’ pool with a rope, but it was a pretty good jerk if do say so myself. When I needed a break, I would sit spread eagle towards the window, which felt pretty good with the cold air blowing on my balls.

At about 4:50 am it happened. Though I did not see him because he was probably a sneaky Mexican, I did hear him run away and knock some shit over in the process.

My life is now complete, I don’t know if there is anything funnier than that, but I’m going to try to find out.

I’m not lying, you can’t make this shit up.

This was originally written on Oct 12, 2007
Rewritten and edited on Jan 18, 2008